It's not I have found that this season I've attended less games than any season for as long as I remember. And I haven't missed it! That's the most damning thing of all. It feels almost like a relief not to have to suffer it week after week.
That is spot on Eric! ( we might recognise each other, I was only ever on the fringe of things in late 90's early 00's but we defo have friends in common )
Of cause Oxford will always really be my club. I said as much in the last line of the blog but I'm fed up of having my heartbroken, of having Saturdays ruined by another poor result. I have to disengage from my own sanity.
I know to some I'm not a "true fan" as I don't go to every game, don't have 1000's of posts on this forum and have never slept on a train station bench because I miss the last train home from a midweek away game. But how many "true fans" are there and what does being a "true fan" give you apart from an empty pock and hurt? why would you miss your kids birthday or your brothers wedding just to watch 11 men in yellow shirts hoof the ball for 90 in a shit hole like Newport?
Something has gone wrong at the club. I want to trust I.L, but taking 8 weeks to find a manager and the shambles that was the shirt sponsorship was a joke!
I want to trust in the youth but seeing the attitude and behavior of the youth and development squad at Kidlington the other night shattered any positive thoughts I had.
I want to trust in the supporters groups but this stupid civil war and the fact they had the radical idea of asking the fans to make some noise at a football match has made them a laughing stock.
I want to trust the players but some seem more interested in selling vitamin supplement that striving to become a good player.
The only thing I really like at Oxford at the moment is
James Constable, I know he cant score for sh*t at the moment but at least he loves the club and care about the fans. You know that losing hurts him the same way it hurts us. lets just hope he don't decide enough is enough.
Basically I want to love oxford again but they are making it so very hard.